Gossiping equals Bullying

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Very recently I found myself aka “Craft-O-Maniac” on a gossip forum (via my YouTube channel), and like a curious idiot I looked again last night on “Mother’s Day.” I thought for sure that the gossip again “bullying” about me was removed because I hadn’t seen it when I shared this on Instagram about a week ago. Well the gossip was still there (as of last night) and there was more… someone added a picture of the “White Chicks” from the movie saying that I looked like them, going along with someone else’s comment about how I look transgender only they said transvestite. I was hurt a little, I won’t lie. I mean why is it that us humans hang onto the hurt and negativity more? I will tell you why? Because we are just that “We are Human” but more then that, the majority of us I believe give other humans that benefit of the doubt. Meaning we don’t look at someone, “a complete stranger even” and think they are a jerk. We feel that if someone is having a rough day or in a funk, they aren’t always that way. Therefore, we don’t peg people to be bullies…. so when they are, we are in shock and that’s why I believe the hate sticks more then the love (at least for me).

This gossip “HATE” forum also talked about my kids being weird (OH’ HELLLLL NO!), that all I do is shop (thrift shop and most of its a credit I earn from a antique store I do work for UGH!), and that I have horrendous eyebrows, my voice is annoying, and I look like a transgender. These words hit like a knife when I first read/discovered them. It’s a horrible thing to create a gossip forum that in my opinion is 100% bullying. I mean its on the world wide web (www) so anyone can sign up and read and partake of this hateful, disgusting place. The forum is called “The Gossip Bakery” and there are more just like this one out there.  

These types of forums are horrible, in fact just about a month and half ago my teenager was telling me that some kids from his Jr. High created a Pine View Middle School gossip forum to talk trash and make fun of other students. Well as the rumor mill goes, it got around the school and to the V. Principal and Principal, who took action and quickly had the forum shut down. This kind of bullying is everywhere in life; schools, work, church, social media, I get it, but it needs to once again be shared more, and more awareness of it needs to be out there. 

You see, I take Lexapro and have for several years now. It helps with my anxiety and depression. To this day I still have low days and since I am not perfect, I have forgotten for 3-4 days in a row to take my pills. I always can tell when I have missed them and need them, because those awful horrible thoughts creep back in straight from Satan himself. When bullying happens and it happens to those of us who are already fighting a war inside, it can be very traumatic to the point where some have actually taken their lives… 

What if on my lowest of low days I stumbled across this gossip forum and read these things? What if that was all it took? I cry and weep thinking about it, and the hurt that it causes people, “children”, “teens”, even me. 

Please, lets all make sure that our children know and are taught; love, tolerance, and acceptance of others. Every walk of life, shape, style and race. When we don’t teach our children these things, then we are potentially going to raise closed minded children who will become bullies young and old. Please lets educate and teach our children so they don’t bully.

I want you all to know that I am fine, I really am.. I laughed a little at the image of white chicks and even at the transvestite comment. I am here sharing this to bring even more awareness to this toxic situation that is becoming more and more saturated in our society. It makes me cry knowing that children out there take their lives because of bullying. This needs to stop. If you feel at all inspired or inclined to share this post, I would so greatly appreciate it.

Thank you, jen

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Images both found via Google pic art.

 


Comments

  1. You are beautiful! People think if they hide behind their computers that their words don’t hurt. Thank you for posting this and helping to spread the word about cyber bullying! =)

  2. Mean people suck. They’re obviously jealous, because why are they taking time to read your blog and study you if they don’t like you? I like to respond to mean comments with something like, “Hi, why don’t you share a link to your site so we can all judge your work?” They usually shut up.

    • jencraftomaniac. says:

      Ha! so true. They aren’t bloggers though. They are YouTube stalkers and then they gossip about the YouTubers. YouTube doesn’t let you see who the thumbs downs are anything… so I can’t block haters etc. too. Lame. jen

  3. You are amazing and those people are obviously jealous or see qualities of themselves in you they are not comfortable with. They are threatened by that an it is easier taking it out on you than deal with it themselves. I’m so sorry!

  4. jasmineschwartz@yahoo.com' Jasmine says:

    Jen I’m so sorry and so angry at what those people did to you. Im now 41 and you would think that women get older and wiser. But i’m sure these grown women have not. As i get older i want to simplify life and guess what? When you have a choice to be a Beast or be nice, choose nice. It’s healthier for yourself, it deflates the situation and saves so much grief. Mean people SUCK and you have to think what miserable people they must be to want to spread it around. I’ve told myself this when i want to lose my temper over and over again. Although right now I wish I could punch them in the face for you LOL (hey, im not perfect yet 😉 ) I want to go where you are and give you a big hug. My daughter is 19 and goes to college full time and works part time at Target. She works in a VERY affluent part of the city and gets snotty rich ladies ALL the time. So a few days ago some annoying mom that goes in a few times a week and is always yelling at her kids AND belittling husband in public, tried to return something. Basically she thought she was shortchanged and wasn’t understanding basic math. my daughter (who is SUPER shy and sweet) tried to explain and then had to call over the manager to explain again. So when the manager left my girl was left alone with her. Well she made sure to hiss to her “wow you F’ing little loser, i know you cheated me, but hey i feel sorry for you, target is your retirement goal you probably will never leave here. I have a lot of money and my husband makes a lot of money”. Well my girl came home and started crying that night. She was a sick that day and stuck it out and that lady had pushed her over the edge. I was more hurt than if they had told me that. This lady whose only accomplishment had been to marry a man with money mistreated my girl who is a great student and basically still a child. What did she gain from that? What kind of poison does she carry around? EW! So again mean people suck! I personally think you are beautiful and super talented. I have very limited time and only follow who i really like and identify with. please dont let haters discourage your awesomeness!

    • jencraftomaniac. says:

      Hi Jasmine, Karma is a beautiful thing… she may end up penny less and flat ass broke and sitting on her bratty disrespectful ass one day (gosh my mouth). That said, I won’t wish it on her, or will I? What a snot, I am sorry your daughter had to deal with that and on a sick day she was trying to push through. I swear if any of my kids get crap from someone when I am around they will get a crap storm from me. I don’t take that kind of crap. Thank you for your support and kind words too. xo jen

  5. I have the hardest time understanding people who choose to be mean behind a computer screen. I’m sorry you had to experience this and I hope you know that nothing they say is true. They try to lift themselves up and feed their own insecurities by putting others down. You are beautiful! Thanks for sharing. And you are right. This message needs to be seen by more people. It makes me want to post on this now.

    • jencraftomaniac. says:

      Hi Jilene, I do too, I mean my only sympathy for them is that they were abused and never taught compassion acceptance and kindness. Thank you for your words and bless you. Jen

  6. When I first opened your blog and saw your picture, I saw a serene young woman, with pretty skin and lovely eyes.
    You are enterprising combining writing a blog, caring for children and running a home just to name a few daunting aspects of your life. Unfortunately when we put ourselves ‘out there’ we take a risk that people with less busy lives and poor self-worth and a mean streak need to be cruel to others to make themselves feel better. It is especially easy for them if they can maintain some aspect of anonymity.
    I am sorry you had this experience but I promise you that you will learn from this and move forward.
    You will move forward a stronger and kinder person.

  7. Compassionate, talented, beautiful and definitely a woman I would love to hang out with. That’s you! Thank you for sharing this experience to help bring awareness to such toxic situations. Bless you!

  8. People are terrible especially since they feel safe to hide behind the internet. I’m so sorry to hear about the bullying. It’s happened to me a couple of times and it was really silly but I let it bother me. It’s hard to let stuff like that roll of our shoulders. Thanks for sharing and realize that there are tons of people cheering you on versus those mean girls.

    • jencraftomaniac. says:

      Thank you so much Havalah (gorgeous name btw). Its so sad but true. I think if we have a good dispensation then we can move on even when it stings. xo jen

  9. happyhumblehomeof6@gmail.com' Christie says:

    Hi Jen! I recently started (stalking you ) hehe .. I mean following you on Instagram. YouTube and now your blog
    Just want to say I’m sorry you have these haters bullying you . And also that you are awesome ! I love you ,your home decor , your family .. keep it up !!!!

    • jencraftomaniac. says:

      Hi Christie…. “the stalker” kidding. Thank you so much girl, I appreciate you taking the time to read my post and for all your support. Much love, jen

  10. Not cool at all. Thank you for having the courage to speak out about it. Gossip IS bullying. There is no need for it.

  11. Jen, I have no idea why some people have the time to write/post such junk. You don’t have to explain yourself, your life or your family to anyone. There will always be “haters”. Hold your head up high and be proud of the smart, beautiful, creative person you are.

  12. I am so sorry that this has happened to you. I can only imagine how your feelings have been hurt by the unkind things people have said. I must say, I did not know there were gossip forums for adults. Why would other adults take time out of their own lives to gossip on some forum about people? I don’t even understand that. As a new blogger, I can imagine how this would be discouraging. I hope you don’t let the haters stop you from doing what you love. I thought once we got our kids through the “mean years” we would be done with that crap. Guess not.

    • jencraftomaniac. says:

      Thank you Jenny, Sadly some never grow up, or they were taught to be mean and hateful themselves. I just want bullying to stop or at least there be more awareness, so that younger kids adults to kill themselves. Luckily I have a great support group aka hubby and family and can get over stuff. Thanks for the sweet words. jen

  13. I am so sorry and sickened to hear about this.. Ugh.. People are ridiculous and hide behind their computers and say such terrible things. Thank you for taking the time to write about it.

    Marni

    • jencraftomaniac. says:

      Hi Marni,

      Yes’ the do and the more our society gets used to cyber bullying, social media, etc. the more courage they have behind screens and the worse it gets. Bullying, gossiping, and blasting it on the web is horrible and just one more way for us and our kids to be bullied. It needs to stop. Thanks for the support. xo jen

  14. bltwhitaker@msn.com' Barbara Whitaker says:

    I remember as a young girl, that trash talk began. (Maybe around mid 70-80’s). I was always taught, not to be mean to anyone and not to judge anyone. Where are the parents who are NOT teaching these grownups? I was born in 1955 so I can see the change in society. But for the most part you bloggers are young 20-40’s and it would bother anyone. People are cruel, but as your momma said: Sticks and stones can break my bones but word can never hurt me. It still doesn’t excuse it but they are jealous. You are an attractive talented young lady and don’t need to let them get to you.

    • jencraftomaniac. says:

      Oh’ Barbara, you are so right and so sweet. Words can hurt, even when we have confidence and we know we aren’t these things, or we know we aren’t perfect etc. We are all molded by God and I love myself. I wish some of these folks were shown more love from their parental figures. I feel bad and sad for them. When social media becomes to much for me, I just step back and focus more on family time. Thanks for the visit. xo jen

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